Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft is a book that has helped me so much on my journey towards understanding I was abused. Bancroft has distilled his experiences with the many violent men he’s worked with over this career into distinct abuser profiles. The most subtle of these abusers he terms ‘Water Torturers’. There’s not much on the internet about the stories of the victims of these men. I’m doing my part to help (part 1 and part 2) but am still a long way off telling my whole story because I find it confronting and difficult (and it will also take a bloody long time: there’s around ten years of examples to wade through).
So if you have Googled “Lundy Bancroft Water Torturer” because you want to connect to the stories of other women who have experiences with these men and found yourself here, consider dropping me an email through my contact page. I’d love to interview you in whatever way you want and will make you feel safe and anonymous. It could be via Skype or a chat over email or Messenger, and it can be a detailed and long exchange of information or just a quick email with the broad strokes of what you lived through.
Hopefully I’ll be able to start building up more and more examples and stories for others who are desperate and searching.
(Note: if you want to contact me but are worried about staying anonymous, consider creating a completely new email address using an encrypted email provider like Proton Mail with a completely different password than one you’ve ever used before. You can also use a VPN to mask your location and you can also decide in advance what aspects of your story you want to alter so it can’t be traced back to you. Locations, ages, professions, religions/spiritualities, appearances, the status and outcomes of court cases, and genders and ages of children are things that can be used to identify you.)